I’m terrible at Communication and I’m paying the Price.

I like people. I really do. But that doesn’t mean that I have much of an easy time starting, and nurturing relationships- well the starting part.

You see, I’m an awkward human being, which seems like a redundant statement considering how many people claim “awkwardness” or any level of “weirdness.” Which I don’t think at all. I’m perfectly  normal no matter what anyone says.

But when I first meet people and for some time after, it takes me a while to be comfortable. I’m ‘quiet’ and ‘nice’; the complete opposite of what my close friends tell me. Except the nice part. Maybe.

Getting to the point: I fail to communicate.

Years ago- fifteen years to be exact- my sister and I moved internationally for the first time to Osaka, Japan. The second time, when I was ten, we moved to Okinawa Japan so that my mother could teach English. Homesick, of course, but we made friends, visited places- had a life.

Now, we never completed a full year for family reasons, but to make a long story short, we moved back to the states only after eight months. Complete severance of communication from the friends we had made there either time.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: That’s very rude to not stay in contact with people I called my friends. Basically pushed them to the back-burner.

Imagine my surprise when my younger sister was able to connect with an old Japanese classmate/friend on Facebook. My sister, the self-initiator.

There were many different things that I felt when this development occurred: surprise, excitement, nervousness, guilt. But there is a few things I want to clear up.

  1. As my younger sister and I have gotten older, she has been the self-initiator between the two of us. I’m learning.
  2. Neither of us had consistently studied Japanese. Consequently, I felt embarrassed that a few of our childhood friends’ English was much better than my Japanese. Consistency and persistence is key apparently.
  3. I’ve never been that great at keeping up with communication.

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